July 23, 2004

I know it’s been a long time since I did this, and I need to try to remember details, but I’ll do my best.

When last we left off our heroes had just discovered that little Timmy had fallen in the abandoned mine shaft…

Two-show days are a burden that all of us in the music industry have accepted as an encumbrance that we all must bear from time to time. Usually they go smoother than expected and everyone comes out happy. Then there are days like this one.

We went down to the docks early in the afternoon to get things set up and check the situation. It looked pretty cool at first, as we were playing outside for the folks that would be filling the gigantic patio. First problem: the stage was not so much a stage as it was, well, a roof. We were to play on top of the guest services booth. No kidding! On the up-side, it had go-go cages on either side of it, just in case I got the urge to bust a move…as it were. Given that we had another show to get to in Oshawa that night we shared backline with one of the other bands on the bill, which was just fine with me, since the only access was a set of stairs just wide enough for a person…not a big person. It wasn’t the nicest day either. A little on the cool side and the wind couldn’t make up its mind if it wanted to gust or just keep blowing, and hey, are those dark clouds over there coming across the lake? Why yes, yes they are!

While Randy and I set about getting the gear ready, the local sound company set about trying to get the p.a. going, and really, it wasn’t coming together very well for them. Because of this, the set times got bumped later a few times. Not good. We were already cutting things awfully close for the gig that night, and well, if things got worse, I was going to have to cancel this show.

Gosh, it’s getting cool, and I really think it’s going to rain…yes, I just felt a drop, I swear it! Let’s cover the gear up and see what happens.

We finally hit the wire, and I told the local rep that we had to get playing right away, or we were going to have to cancel, and besides, with this drizzle and an un-covered stage, I wasn’t very comfortable putting my people up there. I gave him 15 minutes to see if the weather was going to break. And break, it did. Ten minutes later, go figure. The sky opened up and it just pissed down on us, torrential downpour. In that five minute span while we packed the gear, in the kind of frenzy usually reserved for feeding sharks, all of us and everything we had got completely soaked.  

Then off to the next show in Oshawa, and an indoor one, so it was definitely going to happen! And to be perfectly honest, it went off pretty well without a hitch, so not much story there. Sorry. We got there did a fast load in and played, and we left. Exciting, huh?

Next was London, Ontario, my old stomping grounds and a place that Ali had spent a fair bit of time with her old band, Another Joe. This was another rather non-descript show, and it all went fine. Then after we had loaded the gear up and were preparing for the drive home, we decided to stay for a beer, one beer, so that we could help support our friends in Krome. Well, I have begun to realize that the first beer that this band drinks typically seems to have some sort of Hyde potion in it. One beer turned into several, and before we knew it everyone was pretty well hammered and flying around the dance floor. No, really. Flying.

Then it was the insane drive home, because we had the big Jeff O’Neil’s Big Weenie Roast to play, and this is a very important show! All ten minutes of it. I love this job.

So just to recap, in the span of less than two weeks we drove across the country, did five shows, and drove back. 100 hours of driving for 4 hours of performance. Life is good.

The next couple shows in Kelowna and Vancouver put me in the position where I have to say tings like “it was a great show and we all had a lot of fun!” but that’s about it. Our rhythm as a unit has fallen into place and the great stories are a little harder to come by. I promised at the beginning of this thing that it wouldn’t become that, so I’ll move on.

It seems however that we missed the truck so much that we had to take a trip to Alberta twelve hours away. Again, my apologies, but nothing extraordinary happened. That is, of course, until after the Edmonton show.

While Ali went to spend some time with friends, the rest of the gang headed to a club down the road and Randy and I packed the gear. After that we stopped by the place the guys went to, except that they weren’t there. No worries, they could find their way to the hotel, I was sure. I decided to pick up some beer from off-sales, so I had Randy stop while I ran into a local bar. Who should I find, stumbling around? Well, Johnny of course with Jesse close by! As I bought my beer I overheard Johnny being rather belligerent with the bouncers informing them repeatedly that they “couldn’t even spell security”. This could only be bad, so I got to escorting the stumbling young lad out of the place and pouring him into the truck (and making definite and clear note that the shirts that the bouncers were wearing said “security”, correctly spelled.

When we got back to the hotel, a little surprise awaited us! Cam was standing there, having just arrived…from the airport. Seems he got separated from the herd and didn’t know where anyone was, let alone where our hotel was, so in frustration he went to the airport, thinking he would just get a flight home. What changed his mind? He knew I was going to pick up beer. True story.  Alison had arrived just then as well, so excepting Jesse, we were one big happy again. Johnny got out of the truck and announced that he had to piss. Never one to let fear or common sense get in the way, he did just that. Right where he stood. For a minute and 15 seconds. Think about that for a second. It’s really not something that you give much concern, but how long do you usually pee? Look at your watch right now and watch a minute and fifteen seconds go by, then think about peeing that long! And we’re not talking a slow dribble. It was a solid piss! Too funny.

Any hoot. We retired to Randy and my room after pouring Johnny into his bed for some drinking and chatting, both of which we did at great length. I discovered that Cam has a penchant for prat falls, and Ali is a very chatty drunk. Randy proclaimed his ability to sleep through anything and made a show of doing just that. At a later point after Ali had gone off to bed, Jesse came back and found our room in the process of being trashed, because I also discovered that Cam will throw things when drunk. It started with the coffee carafe, fortunately a plastic one, which careened several times off the walls before coming to rest…right beside Randy’s head. He didn’t wake up though! Soon enough there were smashed glasses (that can be attributed to Cam’s falling over trick) and the tray that the coffee machine sat on was in several pieces. On the other hand, we did find out what Randy couldn’t sleep through. It seems that the Achilles heel to his claim is someone like, oh let’s say Cam, picking up a TV and then losing his balance and setting said TV on Randy’s feet. That woke him up, although we found out later that he didn’t remember it at all. Once we had fired all of the beer bottles out of the window trying to get them into the beds of the pick up trucks in next door’s car lot, we went over to the band’s room and promptly folded Ali’s bed in half, while she was still sleeping in it. Funnier yet, she didn’t remember that later either! Fortunately I had video proof to show her! Cam then spent some quality time harassing a prone and very drunk-cranky Johnny, and that ended our night.

The next part involved me spending a week in heaven (Autumn came for a visit). Not band related, so I won’t mention anything else save that I fell deeper in love with every moment we spent together. Please “Aww” for a moment and move on, thank you.

I’ll cover the island show in the next one, ‘cause really, I’m tired, and don’t want to type any more.

See you all on the road, hopefully!

Dan

June 17, 2004

Well, as the saying goes, here I go again. And this is something I haven't really had to deal with as far as the journal writing deal goes. This is a van tour. Those of you that have been following along in your programs will have noticed that all, or at least most of the stories have been relayed from a bus. This, kids, is a whole other animal. As it stands right now there are six of us in a GMC Yukon Denali. A pimpin vehicle, to be sure, but let's see how it is to live in for a while. This is to say nothing of the fact that we are going to be one person heavier when we leave the first stop in Winnipeg. Those of you that have done the drive over Northern Ontario will understand the lack of fervor I feel for this drive. Those among you that have never done this, be sure to list that fact among your lifes blessings.

I suppose I should take the time to introduce you all to the cast of characters in tonights play. Currently in the drivers seat is Johnny, the drummer, next to him is Jesse, guitarist. The second row is occupied by Randy, the drum tech and Cam the singer. Back here in the back row we have bassist Alison and yours truly. Current prodigal, Rob our sound man, will be the seventh from the 'Peg on.

Thats all for now, since I need to preserve battery power and get a little shut eye so I can take over behind the wheel in a couple hours.

Out.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Like a trip down memory lane was that drive. I had done it a thousand times (only a modest exaggeration, believe me) and I am still on a first name basis with most of the speed bumps along our wonderful Trans-Canada highway.

For the edification of our American friends, that is our equivalent of your interstates, except that we only have the one and it, in theory, runs the full breadth of our great nation. It also differs in the fact that it has a nasty habit of going down to a two-lane highway, one lane for each direction with no median and when it goes through many of the towns it is quite simply the main road, traffic signals and all. Often times you require a full tank of gas just to get to the next gas station. No, I am not kidding.

But did I enjoy it? Hell, yes indeed I did! This seems to be a good little gang of folks onto whom I have hitched my wagon. Even with such an interminable drive no one became particularly cranky, and there were laughs the whole way.  Jesse actually did a full 12 hour stint behind the wheel and Johnny, not to be outdone, did the remaining 12 to get us to Winnipeg. Very cool, boredom notwithstanding. I spent the bulk of my time in shotgun keeping the driver company as best I could and reading. As for the Yukon, it really is a very comfortable vehicle, but for sleeping not so much. I had forgotten how much fun it is to live for a long period on cat-naps alone. (Sorry, I cant find the Sarcasm font on this thing)

Look at me make a short story long.

Anyway, we got into the 'Peg the day before our show, and we all went to sleep pretty quickly. Once I woke up everyone had dispersed to whatever destinations they could find (translation: Strip Club) so I went down to the Zoo to check out the band and have a beer. I ran into my friend Art from Children Of Tragedy, and we got to catch up, but I didn't see any other familiar faces save for the Green brothers that run the joint. So I went back to bed.

The next day went as well as any show day could, and given that this is the bands first time through a lot of these places there was practically no one in attendance. But the performance itself was good, and that's all we wanted. As always the staff at the Zoo was fantastic. A bonus of seeing my buddy Adam made the day a little nicer, too, and we didn't make any effort to kill each other with Jagermeister. Next time, though.

Now really, if it were up to you and you had just done a solid 24 hour drive for one show, what would you do next? Right! That's exactly what we did! Another 24 hour drive! We left Winnipeg right after our show to head for Toronto, the ever dreaded northern Ontario drive! (Insert ominous music here). This time, though I got to do my share of the driving, and I like that. By the way, Rob did not join us on this trek either, opting to fly to Toronto instead. You'd think that would cause griping, but no, there really isn't enough room in the truck so no one was bothered! Once we got into Toronto, again, everyone went to sleep for a good long while.

This brings us to the Horseshoe Tavern show, and really, the crux of the trip. The president of the label (Sextant) and a couple booking agents came to see how things are in State of Shock-land. Now, my question right off the bat is: who in the hell puts these things together? It was what they call New Music Night, a wonderful concept. But the first band on was something akin to lounge jazz, followed by a hillbilly country act. Both of the groups were really quite good, but I couldn't possibly have imagined a more incongruous mix of genres. Do I suggest a line up of bands that all sound the same? Certainly not, but, come on!

I digress. The show went off without a hitch and everyone there was impressed with what they saw. I'm not sure of the ramifications of this, because really, thats not my business. I'm sure if any of it affects me, the band will let me know. Of course, in an interesting twist, I got to hang out with a couple of my dear friends. Winnipeg friends. Hi Bree and Nichole! I spent more time talking to Winnipeggers in Toronto than I did in Winnipeg. I love lifes little ironies.

That was last night, and today I slept until around 4:30, then watched a little soccer on the tube and wondered where everyone else was. Turns out they were at the label presidents house for a bar-b-q while Randy went tourist-ing and Rob went golfing. When the guys got back we all went for a beer.

Where did we go for said beer? Well, to the Twilight Zone, of course! You see, it was after 11:30 by this point, and with a busy two-show day coming up tomorrow, no one really wanted to go off, but hey, a couple cocktails wouldn't hurt. So I drove us away from downtown into the 'burbs and found a nice little place called the Mimico Station Bar and Grill in Etobicoke. At first glance it looked promising because I was specifically targeting somewhere less than exciting so that there wouldn't be any problems getting everyone to leave. I am an idiot. The Mimico is a small place in a small strip mall on a small street. Nice, quiet pub kind of place. As we walk in the smattering of clientele look us over and I swear to god if the juke box had done that cool scratchy thing and stopped just then, I would not have been surprised. Undaunted, we saunter up to the bar and Tracy, a lovely girl as we were to soon find, asked all of us for i.d. Now, you just know that with 5 band type people, sooner or later there's going to be a smart ass remark made, and when Tracy asked Jesse what day he was born (the same question she had asked Johnny and Cam before him) Jesse pointed to his license and said "When it says on there" and I'll be damned if she didn't tell him to play along with the game in a way that frankly scared the crap outa me! Fer a little girl who really needed a sandwich or two, she could certainly front!

There was some old country music playing on the jukebox, and a sole woman, a little older and more than a couple sheets to the wind dancing away in front of it. When that was done, Jesse went and put on some music, this time some newer country, and some acoustic Alice In Chains, and we all enjoyed our beer. After Jesses songs? Frank Sinatra. 6 songs in a row. Now, we didn't really have a major problem with it, but a fella that we soon learned to be "Mike, Mike MacDonald, but not the comedian" stumbled his way over to our table to tell us that he though Frank had to go. We all just kind of smiled and nodded, as one would do when speaking to a person in a different language, then Mike, bless his heart, proceeded to go and unplug the jukebox!  This is funny enough, but then Tracy gave him a verbal beating for doing it as though she was the kindergarten teacher and Mike had just dropped a radio in the fish tank! Damn, that was funny! The best part though was that Mikes little plan didn't work, and when he plugged the juke back in, Frank picked up right where he left off! I love it. Then Tracy came over to explain to us (why would everyone assume that we wouldn't like Sinatra?) that she had a regular that loved Sinatra and would play the entire CD, if only to piss everyone else in the bar off.

The end? No of course not! Mike came to sit with us after that and ramble incoherently about bands! And Tracy, who I think took quite a shine to young Alison, told us all about the owners of the bar, and by the time we left, I felt like a regular. We will definitely be going back there when we get the chance. You just can't make that stuff up.

And now we are back at the hotel, everyone is sleeping, and I've just finished hooking the trailer up to the truck for tomorrow...sorry, later todays adventures.

Good night folks.

Out

Dan

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Hi folks! Been a while, hasn't it? Yes, Im a bad man. Moreover, Im a lazy man. What can I say? I'm sorry? Ok, consider it said.

Where have I been? Good question. Where have I been? I actually have to think about that. The last entry was close to the end of the Kazzer tour, and until very recently, that was the end of my touring. We finished up the tour with very little hullabaloo, and after being on the road for so long I decided to take a little time to be home. This isn't to say that I wouldn't have gone out if the right situation had arisen, but it didn't, and I was ok with that.

And of course there was the situation that came up unexpectedly that gave me cause to take some time from the road life. Autumn arrived, and no, I don't mean the season...although it was October...no, no, I mean the day after the Kazzer tour ended (fortunately at home in Vancouver) Autumn Alexis Woods from Arkadelphia, Arkansas came to visit me. Really that's been the primary focus for me for the last few months. We've been taking turns visiting, and I couldn't be happier. Once in a while the road will give you a rather unexpected gift, and she is mine. Yes, folks, I'm in love. I'll stop there.

As for life in the music industry over that time, not much really happened for me at all. A few friends came through town, like Lala (Ra), Bozz (dD) and Shane (Godsmack). Aside form that, I really didn't even go out. No shows, no nothing. I went back to the day job and found that I wasn't hating life like I used to when I was doing that. For the record, I'm a concrete form stripper, or when talking to my mom, I'm a stripper.

In the last month or two I have begun working with a Vancouver band called State Of Shock, doing local shows (a lot of radio shows, as they were one of six bands to win a local radio stations contest things) and getting ready to do a short Canadian tour. Yes, thats right...road stories are just around the corner!

Well, really, that's about it for the updates. But am I finished? Nope. There is something that I'd like to touch on.

Tim Hart. I suspect that the majority of you reading this came here from the Theory Of A Deadman site, but in case you didn't, and have no idea who that is, heres the bullet: Tim was the drummer for Theory, and has recently decided to leave the band. He is now playing guitar with a band called Suspect here in Vancouver, another band that won that radio contest thing, so I get to see him all the time. I'd like to take this opportunity to tell Tim that while I was sorry to see him leave Theory, I understand the reasoning behind it, and wish you nothing but the very best. You deserve it. Hi Rachel!

You see, of all the folks in the Theory camp, it was Tim that I connected with the most. We had a lot in common: the Batman, MASH, and Greco Roman Wrestling. We shared a (sometimes scarily) similar sense of humor (which I have come to recognize as being greatly influenced by MASH! That's right, Tim, you know it!) And it was almost always Tim and I left at the end of a night sitting up in the front lounge talking and laughing. I miss you man. Ok I said it.

Season 5 and trivia, man, we need to get to that! Season 6 is out soon!

What else? Oh yeah! I need to take a second to thank Anne (Theory board moderator) for all of your help with the pictures, and for looking out for me on the gig end of things. Im going to try to fix the rest of the pictures as soon as I finish writing this.

And thanks to all the friends that have been harassing me to get this damned site updated. Its nice to know theres still interest. Ill try to keep it going with more regularity.

Now, since I don't have any new road updates, I am going to tack on the very first Road Reports that I did. They were from when I was out with Flybanger, but the label decided that they didn't want a roadie doing it; they felt that it would be better if the band did it...which of course they never did. So here you go:

Here's how this is gonna work. This page is here for us to let you guys know what's going on while were out on the road. As far as we know there isn't anyone else doing this, except like a "Played in Chicago, great show" kinda thing. We want you to know what it's like out here for us, and since I've been working with Flybanger for the better part of five years, I guess I'm as qualified as anyone to fill you in. There may even be the occasional bitch session, but not much of that. There's nothing I hate more than people that get to travel all over, meet great people, drink and eat for free or close to it and then say "this is tough, poor little me". Shaddap. But really, a week straight of fourteen hour drives...Sorry, too early for that.

All we have to do is find the time to write you guys. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Well, I'll tell ya something. Today is December tenth, and we started on the first of this month, and this is our first real day off. No show, no god awful long drive, no nothing...except laundry when we find a Laundromat (some of us are starting to smell). Don't get me wrong, we're glad we haven't had days off, cause that means we're playing, seeing some old friends and meeting new people. But it's nice to have a chance to keep you guys posted.

Just to forewarn you, though. Between the first and today, well, there may be some fuzzy memories, so bear with us. I'll try to give ya the highlights.

December 1, 2000 The Whiskey in Hollywood, California. Shows like this have to be fun for us, because we have a lot of friends here, so it's an easy way to start a tour. We met the boys from Clutch and C.O.C., both bands that we have been fans of for a long time, and a new band called Sixty Watt Shaman. Check these guys out if you get a chance. I don't know how many of you have been to the Whiskey before, but it's a legendary club, and a damn cool place to play! Fun show, all in all. (Hi Emily!)

Form there we went down to Santa Ana, California on the second, and played in an amazing place called the Galaxy and a few folks from Hollywood came down to check us out again, and that's awesome. We started to get to know the guys from the other bands and crews better, so it was getting fun. In case ya don't know, the first thing you always learn about people you tour with is what they drink, and then how much of it you can drink. By the way, we got a new endorsement. Jagermeister. And may god have mercy on our souls.

So then they tell me we went to San Francisco on the third, and that it was a cool show

I should mention specific thanks here to Andrew from Phoenix for coming out to all three of those shows...and dressing up like Dracula. Damn, man.

Then it was off to Portland, Oregon on the fourth, a town we always love playing, because the crowds really go off. Some folks that had seen us before came out and helped us feel at home. And by this time were back in tour mode, and getting used to no sleep, and, um, let's call it thinner blood.

A long drive later and it was Salt Lake City on the sixth. Raging sold out crowd. Cool.

(Blurred recollection break...Damned C.O.C. crew...my head hurts)

Denver, Colorado. The mile high city. Oh, and something about the elevation there too. The Ogden Theatre went OFF, I gotta tell ya. Packed house tore it up. American Tap pops to mind, not sure why. Greg, our new tour manager is beginning to show some new talents aside from his kick ass sound. I'll leave it at that.

On the eighth we went to Omaha, Nebraska to play the Ranch Bowl. I don't think I've ever done a show at a venue with it's own bowling lanes before, but it was definitely interesting. All these tattooed pierced freaky looking people going in to get food and drinks with other people that all had matching bowling shirts and their own bowling balls. Once the show got going, though, it was all on again. Another packed house of mad partiers. Then Rob and I got drunk and bowled. Even wore the funny shoes. Do you guys remember WKRP in Cincinnati? Do you remember Johnny and Venus getting drunk on air for an anti-drunk driving promotion, and Johnny kept getting better? I'm gonna start calling Rob Dr. Fever. By the time the Wild Turkey bottle was empty he was kicking my ass. I got him back later though. Sleep is over rated anyway. Shouts out to Alisa and Sera.

Oh yeah

FLYBANGER SINGER HELD AS SUSPECT IN STABBING

The ever-adventurous Garth, our fearless singer went for a walk to the store after our show in Omaha. It turns out that someone that looks kinda like him shish-kabobbed someone earlier in the evening. Of course Garth had just done a set and didn't have his wallet on him. "No, really, I'm in a band called Flybanger from Vancouver and we just played over at the bowling alley! Really!"  Sure you are. It turned out ok because 4 hours later they let him go, but not until he spent some time in the holding cell. Flybanger is proud to announce the pending nuptuals of Garth and Bubba from Omaha.

Last night we played the Galaxy club in St. Louis to a sold out crowd of lunatics. Very nice. Ya gotta love it when you can hardly move from one side of the bar to the other in under twenty minutes. A couple of our friends from the Union Underground camp, Tommy and Greg, came out to see us, so that was cool. Awesome seeing those guys again and catching up. Thankfully today is a day off.

Our friends from Sixty Watt Shaman are doing a show tonight in Champagne, Illinois with Nashville Pussy, so we're on our way there now to check it out.

That's all for now, but well try to do this a little more often. If you're reading this from a city were coming to soon, make sure you come up and say hey, and if you're in a city weve already been, THANK YOU. And if you're reading this from back home in Vancouver, we miss you and we'll see you guys over Christmas.

DrumBat

Sunday December 11, 2000 on our way to Chicago. Just a quick update on last nights festivities. For starters, the laundry thing came together, YAY! Then, while I stayed at the hotel for a little quiet time, the rest of the gang went off to the Sixty Watt Shaman show with Nashville Pussy. I have to guess it was a good show by the way everyone was stumbling when they got back. Bryan and Greg had a quick round of synchronized porcelain prayers after which Greg passed out, and passed out hard. You all know that silver paint that Garth wears on stage sometimes?  Everyone got the idea yet? I took a couple pictures and when I get them developed I'll send them in here. I knew that Jagermeister endorsement was gonna get us.

Rob just suggested I give you guys a little background. Not the band bio, thats already on this site somewhere, but more of a filler on road life. It's probably true that most of you have never done this sorta thing, so maybe you're interested. If you aren't, sorry. Scroll down for a bit.

If you've read this far, you probably know who everyone is, at least the band guys. Garth is the singer, Bryan is the guitarist, Tom is the bass player, and Rob is the drummer. I'm Dan, the tech, roadie, whipping boy, whatever you prefer. Like I said earlier, I've been with the boys a long time, so I'm inside the loop. At least they tell me Im in the loop. Why is Tom laughing right now? Anyway.

Here's road life, the Readers Digest version: once we know where were going and when, we rent a van and a trailer. The van we have now is luxurious compared to the tours we were doing a year or so ago when there was no trailer. Then we load all the gear into the trailer and all the bodies into the van. I say bodies because for whatever cruel twist of fate, we always end up leaving home in the middle of the *bleeping* night. Usually Rob or I will take the first shift, then we trade off every few hours until we get where we need to be. I can tell you right now the seating arrangement for every tour we've ever done, or will do until we get a bus. Rob and myself in driver and shotgun, Garth and Bryan in the seats behind, Bryan on driver side sleeping against the window and Garth trying, stress trying, to sleep on passenger side, and finally Tom in what we call the lounge. I've never seen anyone more creative in making a bed out of whatever the hell is lying in any size space, or dive into it faster. We know how Tom is gonna sleep before we know how the gear is gonna fit in the trailer.

Then we get to the venue and everyone is tired (yup, even Tom) and we unload the gear and while I set it up Bryan and Tom will re-string their guitars while Rob looks after the merchandise set up. Garth drinks coffee and looks for something to eat while all this is going on. Usually the headliners are finishing up sound check by the time that's all done, so we put our gear up on the stage. This is my busiest time, because I have to make sure everything is working, and if it isn't, why, and fix it. That plus there's not usually a lot of time before the doors are gonna open, so its all rush. If we're lucky we get enough time for a quick line check and on rare occasions, a full sound check. Then there are people in the club, so the guys start the schmoozing. Tom is the king in that department, but we all hold our own.

About a half hour before show time the guys go to the dressing room to get ready, warm up the vocals, stretchdrink, whatever.  Then it's game time, that part you guys see. After the set, the guys head back to the dressing room for a breather while I rip all the gear off the stage as quick as I can without killing myself or anyone else. On a tour like we're on now, I usually load right outside and pack up there and straight onto the trailer. Its amazing how quickly a person can do that in Nebraska in December.

Then I head inside and hope there's a beer or two left for me. We watch the other bands, get to know the cool people we meet, and drink. At the end of the night, we either head to the hotel, or when the next show is a really long drive away, we hit the highway. For the record, theres always a designated driver.

And then we do it all again.

Clear enough? Cool. Out

By the way, every once in a while I'm going to throw in one of our old road stories if the night isn't all that exciting. Some of them are pretty damned funny, and I don't want to waste them. Is that ok?

                                                DrumBat

Tuesday December 12, 2000 I-90 to Minneapolis. Well THAT was an interesting little day. It just sorta figures that we would have to be driving into Chicago during, and I quote: the worst snow storm in forty years according to one of the locals. But hey, this was a show at the House of Blues so we knew it would be worth it. Last time we were there with Dope and Ultraspank we had an amazing time (in Touring Band Terminology that translates to GREAT CATERING) and got to know some of the crew that works HOB. Last nights show is going to be a web cast, and if I had any clue whenit's going to air, I'd tell ya. Check the house of blues web site. The camera crew did a great job, and since they had monitors set up all over the place that's as close as I've come to actually seeing a Flybanger show in years. Afterwards we all decided that driving on to Minneapolis after the show was kinda not a good idea, and since HOB was kind enough to provide us with what can only be called a shit-heap of beer, we felt obligated to stay. The down side of course is the seven AM wake-up call...then the seven-fifteen wake up call...then the seven-thirty call from Greg...so now we're on the road, it's just hitting nine in the morning, but the blizzard is past, so it's all good. On top of that, and I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I'm in the lounge! By the time you finish reading this I'll be asleep.

                                                DrumBat

Wednesday, December 13, 2000 I-90 back to Chicago (on our way to Columbus). Yes, that's right, back into the blizzard. Ya gotta love the routing when it starts to look like someone threw a twisted string on a map and were following it around the country. Fun, fun. Anyway, that was pretty close to bitching. Sorry about that.

When the guys got me to start this I was worried that eventually I'd run out of things to tell you and all these little dailies would end up sounding the same. Silly me. As an added bonus the boys seem to be taking turns giving me material. Last night was Bryans turn, and he took full advantage of his opportunity to, um, shine. And wouldn't you know it, it involves Jagermeister. Does anyone else see a pattern developing? Last night was a really, really early set, and we were off stage and packed up before seven o'clock so that left us an awful lot of time to hang out in the bar. Young Bryan decided to have himself a couple shots of what I like to call 'liquid bad' and a slice of bar pizza on top of the backstage beer. In a move that would have made the three stooges proud he completely missed the three steps down to the dressing room and took a full-on header into a sixteen-foot ladder that was leaning close by. Tom said later between fits of laughter that our heros feet never even touched the ground. Thankfully he wasn't hurt, sure, but damn that's funny. So what does he do to celebrate? How about another shot of Jag? Ok. This time, though, he was smart and decided to stay where he was. It's just a shame that he puked almost as soon as he had shot it back. The folks around him were kind enough to give the boy a round of applause, and the East German judge gave him a 9.2. We're all very proud of Bryan.

Now a little personal note on last nights show. The venue was called First Avenue in Minneapolis and, as a point of interest, that was the club that the majority of the movie Purple Rain took place in. Whether or not you like Prince, that's just damned cool. I can now say that I played the guitar intro to Purple Rain on the same stage that Prince did. For the record, I am a Prince fan, big time.

Later on last night Tom and I rented a pay-per-view movie at the hotel and an hour into it our damned TV spontaneously turned itself off. On those systems once you turn the TV off, you lose the movie, and at 5:30 in the morning we were in no mood to re-order it and watch the first hour again, so if anyone out there has ever seen the movie The Watcher...HOW THE HELL DOES IT TURN OUT??

Ahem.

The Dracula 2000 soundtrack came out yesterday, by the way, so get out there and buy it. Go on, what are you waiting for?

Well, that's about it for now, and one of these days well get a chance to send this in and you can read it. Maybe tonight, then I can start the next chapter, although I think tonight might be pretty quiet because the snow is slowing us down and we won't get to Columbus 'til after midnight. Well, there is always the gigantic box of beer in the back of the van...out.

                                                            DrumBat

Ok, so it's still Wednesday, and the storm got us. We stopped in Madison Wisconsin because the highways are closed or on their way to being closed. One of the other fine side-effects of touring is boredom, kinda like I'm experiencing right now, so if you don't mind I'll take this chance to give you one of our old road stories.

While we were out with The Union Underground a few months back we got to be pretty good friends with the other band and their crew, so naturally we started to have little practical joke skirmishes. I actually kicked it all off quite unintentionally. My bad. When we were in Colorado Springs, Colorado Rob and I happened across a novelty store that had a good supply of Halloween masks. Rob bought a KISS mask and I picked myself up a full-on Batman mask. So during one of Unions shows, I put my mask on and wrapped up in a back sheet and went backstage to maybe give Josh a laugh. At that point I thought to myself that it might be kinda funny if during 'Turn Me On (Mr. Deadman)' I walked across the stage...so I did. Afterwards Josh told me that it was funny, but it also meant game on. A couple of days later, while we were in the middle of 'Evelyn' Josh came out onto our stage. He was wearing a long black witch's wig...and a sock. That's all. It was hilarious, but of course we had to out do that. When we got to Amarillo, Texas we made our move. I basically put on the same costume, the mask and the black sheet, but this time that was all I was wearing, and Hoogie, our guitar tech at the time, wore a silver full-head wrestlers mask, a small towel loin cloth and a huge Texas flag (to this day, I have no idea why we had that flag), and out we went. 'South Texas Death Ride' indeed. The difference was that while Josh ran out onto our stage, jumped around a bit and ran off, Hoogie and I stayed out for a little while. Just so you have the idea, and you don't know us, I'm a scrawny little guy and Hoogie is a rather heavy guy, and the only things that were covering our, uh, privates were Union Underground stickers. It's disturbing, to be sure, but damned funny.

Ok, thats out of my system now. Out.

                                                                        DrumBat

Thursday December 14, 2000 STILL on the I-90 back through Chicago. Up at 5:30 AM, on the road by 6. Remember the good old days when we used to work construction and could sleep in a little?

                                                                        DrumBat

The body will make some interesting adjustments if you force certain things on it for long stretches. I can no longer sleep more that three or four hours at a stretch, it turns out, in all likelihood because I've been forcing myself to survive on catnaps in the van. Now, even when we have hotel rooms and we can sleep until check-out time, I find myself waking up at ungodly hours of the night. It's not a bad thing, really, but I am kinda feeling burned out just a little. Just something I need to get used to. The only real trick is the other fellas sleep patterns. I've spent quite a few hours of late sitting in a dark room listening to them snore, afraid to turn on a light in case it wakes anyone. Light sleeping bastards. Please excuse this little insomniac rant.

Friday, December 15, 2000 on our way to Cincinnati. Last night we did a show in Columbus, and while I'd love to tell you that the show was the highlight, it wasn't. It was a great show, because we had been at this venue, the Newport Music Hall, just a few months back with Union Underground, and it's a great sounding room, and one of the best local crews in the country. The interesting thing really had nothing to do with the show at all, but rather someone that we met the first time we were through. Now, I'm not going to get too specific with the recap because that last thing I want to do is cause anyone any sort of grief or embarrassment, but I think this needs to be brought to light.

Here are the basics of it: after our show with Union, this guy approached us claiming to be a member of a rather big-name band. The band he chose to represent himself from is really just one man with a band that he assembles to tour with, so how would we know any difference, right? So, anyway, we all figured out that the guy was fulla crap, but we humored him for the fun of it. Unfortunately, at some point in the humoring, he ended up with my cel phone number, and he would call me every week or so telling me that he, or they, were in some major US city somewhere on tour. Of course it never occurred to me to just check the bands tour schedule on the net, but I never claimed to be all that bright. Well, when he found out that we were coming back to Columbus, ironically enough, he was going to be home then, and he would bring out some...guests to the show. Who am I to argue with logic like that? He even went so far as to ask my personal preferences.

So come show time, he shows up with a rather surprising bevy of beautiful ladies. Damn, thats some nice work! He didn't take into account, though, that we now had working relationships with the local crew and they knew who he really was. I guess who he wasn't would be more correct. As soon as he showed we were told by several of our friends not to believe what he had told us, and we already knew that anyway. But again, who am I to argue with his results? I'm a lonely man, I am. But I'm also not an asshole. No really, I'm not! So I took the girls aside and talked with them about this fella, and wouldn't you know it, according to them he was an entirely different member of an entirely different band! He had just met them hours before and made promises of backstage parties or some such. And to boot, he tried to pass his story to a friend of ours on C.O.C.s crew, and Kid actually ­knows the person he was claiming to be. We all had a good laugh, until mystery man tried to push his luck with the bouncers and was rather forcefully removed. I feel bad for the guy, but, c'mon.

I suppose what I'm getting at with this little story is that as cheesy as it sounds, when you meet people, including bands and musicians that you've seen, fer the love of god, be yourself. You guys that know us know were totally easy going and open to meeting everyone. Who you are doesn't mean a thing; it's how you are with us. Anyway, end of sermon.

Tonight we did a show in Detroit at Harpos, a club that I had seen shows at years ago, and let me tell you, it's a great place to see a show! And on a Friday! What more could we ask for? We even sold out of CDs tonight! Is that awesome or what? Damn straight it is. The only drag was when we had to leave because were spending tonight and tomorrow Cincinnati, so right now I'm sitting in the seat behind driver Rob typing this before I get my nightly couple hours of sleep. Out.

                                                                        DrumBat

Wednesday, December 20, 2000 Well, it's been a few days, hasn't it? Ok, let's see what happened, shall we? Cincinnati at Bogarts went off as well as we expected, because this was another venue that we had been in before when we toured with Dope and Ultraspank. On top of that it was Saturday night. It's a great room and, again, it was nice to see some familiar faces in the crowd. I suppose just the idea that there are familiar faces that far away from home is pretty damned cool. And with two days off after this show, needless to say there were some beverages consumed and an appropriate amount of stumbling to follow. Hey Kelly, glad ya made it out to the show...finally. Better late than never I guess.

Sunday was spent driving through (are you ready for this?) a blizzard! There's nothing like a nice six hour, two hundred mile drive. But we made it to Cleveland in one piece, so it was all good. By the way, can anyone actually say Cleveland without getting the theme from Drew Carey in their heads? I didn't think so.  So what did everyone do on Monday, an actual full day in a city with absolutely nothing that had to be done, and in the home of the rock and roll hall of fame? Rob and Garth went to a movie, I still don't know what Bryan and Greg did (I think they might very well have gotten out to see some of the night life), and Tom and myself slept until 4:30 in the afternoon. Perfect. Later, out of sheer boredom, Tom and I raided the Big Box Of Beer in the back of the van and got pleasantly hammered. Oh, and what else did I do with my one day of freedom? I dragged the guitars into the hotel and changed the strings, cleaned them, and set them up. I'm such a workaholic. Quit yer laughing!

By the time Tuesday rolled around we were all chomping at the bit to do a show, and Cleveland is a whole new market for us. In the afternoon the boys did a web-radio show (www.clevelandrockslive.com) then we headed down to the venue and I loaded in. C.O.C.s stage manager, Kid, was telling me that while we were resting (?!?) in Cleveland the night before, they had gone to Dallas and did a show with our friends in Nickelback. Shouts out to the guys and crew, hope everything is going as well as we keep hearing it is. Morgan, ya freak. Anyway, Sixty Watt Shaman had to back out of the Cleveland show because the singer, Dan, has strep throat, so that was a bit of a drag, but on the other hand it was good for us because it bumped the whole show a little later. Later show means more time for people to get in the door. We even had some people fly out from LA to come to this show. Hi April, Amber, and Jenny! Special nods to the two kids that came out with their home made Flybanger shirts. That was pretty damned cool. I hate to sound repetitive, but the show was great, and the crowd was awesome.

Now let me pose a question to you. Let's say that you are in or work for a band. When you do a show at a venue you are given a room to use as a dressing room, and if you're the first band of a three-band bill, you don't get much of a dressing room. Now, if, like Cleveland for example, your dressing room does NOT have a door, but you have, um, let's call her a guest in the dressing room and you and she are feeling a bit, shall we say, frisky, what do you do? Well, I can tell you that if you ask our intrepid tour manager Greg that very question, his answer would be to get someone to watch the door for you! Good thinking, and I, being the helpful sort, was happy to oblige. Just me...and my camera. Kid got a pretty good look at the show too. Were all so proud of our little Greg (read that as you will).

After this little bout of debauchery, we hit the road to make some headway toward New York. Which raises another interesting question I'd like to put to you: It's sort of a drinking problem, and there are several lessons to be learned. Are you ready? Here we go:  If you take two guys in the lounge area of the van, a lot of bottles of beer, and a long, long overnight drive, what would the results be? Everyone got their answers ready? Ok, pencils down. One, you get two drunk guys, two, you get two drunk guys that are full of fluids, and three, you get a lot of empty bottles. Anyone see where I'm headed with this? Here are the two main hard lessons we learned from this little experiment (we called it research at the time): first Tom learned that when a guy has to pinch himself off to change bottles mid-piss, DO NOT make him laugh, and second we all learned that Greg does not like having pee anywhere near him, let alone on him. Please, dont try this at home, we are trained professionals.

I guess thats about all for now, but theres more to come. Out.

                                                                        DrumBat

There. Will that tide yall over fer a little while?

Later

Dan

I suppose it's about time in this little venture that I give you an actual inside on what its like to be on the road with total strangers, and not that M-TV 'Real Life' bull shit. To be honest, it's probably very much like that, but without the for-the-camera prima-Dona stuff. Or at least not the same stuff. I know I've expressed this before about an issue that arose on the Theory board about 3 Doors Down, us and Nickelback, but in case you didnt read that, I'll give you the Readers Digest version; every camp on the road has different factions, just like any group of people. It would be ludicrous to expect every one of the personalities to be the same, and therefore there are distinct ways to which the people on a tour act, react and interact.

What the hell am I talking about...and why? Good questions! I am finding that on this tour with Kazzer, I dont blend quite so easily with the general flow of things, and for no particular reason. I get along great with all of the guys, and there are absolutely no personality conflicts, but I just find myself as something of a, oh, I dunno, witness. I've been watching the traffic on the street without seeing any need to merge, ya know what I mean? It's more that for some unknown reason, this just doesn't feel like home. This is where I work. Is that a bad thing? Not at all, it's just the way things are here, and that's all good. And to be perfectly fair, this is slowly changing as the time passes. Its just unfortunate that this is a short lived situation since we finish up on the 9^th of October.

Moreover, its about the various inflections that all of the personalities bring to a collective. All of the guys that I've ever toured with are great people, and I say that with pride in all of them. But at any work place you become friends with some and acquaintances with others. With the Kazzer gang, I don't really have very much in common with them as a whole, and this is not an anomaly by any stretch. You all now what Im talking about because at some point or another, be it with co-workers, class-mates, or what have you, youve felt the same things. Am I best of friends with all of the people that I've lived with on the road? Not by a long shot. On the other hand theres nothing I wouldn't do for any one of them if they asked.

I'm quite sure I just said a whole lot of nothing and took up a lot of space to do it, but hey, this is how my head works. Random thoughts rule! Hey, if I didn't make sense, or if I did nothing more than raise questions, by all means let me know.

Now on to the recent events on the tour;

It's been asked of me many times: have you ever left someone behind when they got off the bus? The answer now is an emphatic yes. We arrived in Kingston the day after Belleville, and I went about my usual routine, getting things ready and I got a call from Kenny to call Kaz to give him directions to the gig. The damned fool didnt know enough to get into a cab and tell the driver the address, I thought. No, no...it turned out that he woke up in Belleville and the bus wasnt there. Seems he got himself a hotel room and didn't let everyone know, so in the morning, well, we left. So he hitch-hiked to Kingston. He got there on time, too. How funny is that? We left the boss behind.

Can't really blame any one for that either, after all, there are twelve of us living on this bus. That's a lot of people to keep track of. Yes, that's right, count em, twelve people. I've never been on a bus with this many before, and let me tell you, its a little crowded. More-so after a show when there are guests on with us. Were getting chummy with the guys from GOB and Jersey, so they hang out with us, and of course the new friends we meet at the shows. I've retreated to my bunk on more than one occasion because the open space of the bus felt claustrophobic, and believe me, when the coffin feels roomy by comparison, that's a lot of people!

Oh ya! Last night during the show I got the headstock of Nick's bass in the face as I ran out on stage! It was hard enough that he felt it before he knew what it was that he felt! Guitar changes can be risky when you only have three feet of stage depth. On the up-side we both laughed our way through the next song. Thats the first time Ive ever been clocked with a guitar!

Anything else? Not that I can think of off the top of my head, but maybe by the time I get a chance to actually post this there will be more. Hell, this one was written over a 4 day span! Later.

Dan

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Yesterday was a rather interesting day, choc full of surprises! We woke up in Waterloo and had ourselves a little breakfast and got on the highway towards Toronto. We found Yale University, but finding the actual venue was something of a challenge. My heartfelt thanks to the folks that designed the layout of that school! We never actually found the Minotaur, but we didnt see the entire labyrinth...Im sure he was there somewhere. So we finally discovered the club, Contact, and I set about getting the gear in. After that all we had to do was wait for about 5 hours for the PA to go up and GOBs crew to do their thing. Hey, just in case there are any venue owners reading this...why do you guys book 4 bands into a 2 band (at best) venue? All of us in the touring camps just love climbing over ours and everyone else's gear to do what we have to. Seriously, cut it out.

So we hung around the University meeting the people we are going to be living with for the next few weeks (some of the M-TV, Nokia and FCUK folks are traveling on our bus.) and doing a lot of people watching...ya, thats it...people watching. All people, not just the girls...right. Anyway, then the show happened, and, well, it wasn't great for us. Toronto is one of those strange towns (like most major metropolitans) that the crowd comes to be impressed, unless youre already a big name. You know the types; just standing there with their arms crossed looking to see who's looking at them, being as cool as they can. It was a small crowd to begin with, so their indifference was pretty glaring. On top of that, it was an indifferent crowd of punk fans. Kazzer is decidedly not a punk band. Ah well, win some, lose some, and this one was a loss.

Oh, yes, another part of the poor venue arrangement, we couldn't load our gear out until the end of the night. This isn't really a major problem, but to be honest, when I'm done for the night, I want to be done. Not waiting around for a couple more hours to do the heavy part, know what I mean? Ok, that's enough bitching; I'll shaddap about it now.

When I got back to my hotel downtown, I called my friend Jay, Theory's stage manager and guitar tech, to see how their show went, and it turned out that they were all still up, so I went over to see them at 3 in the morning. It was, after all, the last day of a tour that I had spent over a year with and the anniversary of their album being released and it was really fortunate that I happened to be in the same town to be at the end-of-tour party. A happy coincidence, if you will. What was waiting at the hotel when I got there was not something I saw coming, though! There was a room full of people from the Theory bulletin board! Foolish me had assumed that it would be the boys' day room that I was going to, but no! Anne and Jim had rented a suite for everyone that was traveling from far and wide for the show to get together in! Nice work, guys! These were some of the people that can take a little of the responsibility for me doing this page, and it was great to see them! Ok, I'm going to try this: CheekyPeek, Tre, DRI, Hoppip (and husband)...ah hell...(Did you feel that five minutes pass?) Ok, I can't remember the rest of the names, sorry. I suck, I know. But the point is that I'm really glad that everyone was there and that I got a chance to see the boys (except Tim and the Fab, the lazy bastards had gone to bed! And at only four in the morning! Sheesh!) before they went home! Sorry you weren't there Tuna, would have loved to raise a glass with ya! Next time Im home, ok? No, I dont know when, get off my back!

Well, that's about all I have right now, and we have to do the launch of some new TV station tomorrow (I love setting up our entire stage for one song, really I do) so I should get some sleep.

Dan

Monday, September 15, 2003

Sorry this has taken me so long. I actually had a pretty lengthy entry written about my visit back to Stratford, but I decided that I didn't like the way it ended up sounding, so maybe once I find a way to fix that aspect, I'll post it. For now, though, let's see whats happened...right after I go look at where I left off

Ah yes, we had just finished up in Paris, Ontario, and then we had the long weekend off. Wow, that's a while ago, huh?  Well, let's see, after that we did a show in another of my old stomping grounds, London, at Fanshawe college. This was followed by a series of college and university shows, which are always fun, and on top of that I got to see some old friends, as, among others, we did shows with Bif Naked, Treble Charger and Not By Choice. In fact, Scotty, the drummer from Static In Stereo is now with Bif's band, so happy reunions all around.  There was a lot of driving involved with these shows, as we went from southern Ontario, up to central Ontario, and damned near into northern Ontario, and back again.

There are a couple shows that stood out for us. One was the Hamilton, Ontario show as McMaster University, because Kaz is from Hamilton. We were in the opening slot behind Treble Charger and Bif, so we got done early and had some time to have fun, and watch the other bands.

The fifth was an interesting day. We had a show at Niagara College during the afternoon, and Kaz is among this schools alum. You'd think we would have hung out there and had some fun after that, what with it being an afternoon show, right? Wrong!! We had a show that night in London, Ontario at UWO with our friends the Mudmen. Interesting enough? Of course not! On our way to London after the first show we got a call telling us that our guitarist Julian's brother had taken ill and was in a coma at the hospital. So we sat by the side of the road waiting for Jules's dad to come pick him up before we headed to back down the road. With this, of course, we got to the show quite late and barely had time to get our stuff on the stage before the show started. But you know I love a challenge, and we got through it pretty well, but we definitely missed Julian. His brother has since come out of the coma and is in the process of recovering, although I don't know all the details, and wouldn't give them to you anyway, because that's just none of my business to share. I'm sure you understand. Please keep a good thought.

Then, following a few days off we flew to Newfoundland, the last remaining Province on my map without a pin in it. I have now been in all ten Provinces and all 48 of the states below. Alaska and Hawaii are all that remain, and I'd love to see both! But I digress. We landed pretty late on Thursday night, and fortunately Kenny had arranged to have some refreshments waiting for us, so we settled into our hotel rooms to have a couple drinks and get some sleep. The next day went pretty routinely, and we all got to walk around St. John's for a while in the morning before heading to the gig. What a beautiful town that is. It really was like something out of a movie, you know, the old fishing town, everything moving a little slower, more relaxed, and everyone had a smile at the ready. I'm used to big cities, so they made me nervous...I was pretty sure they were planning something...just kidding. We headed to the Breezeway club in the college and set about making the rock show, and that went really easily because in a rare turn of events the backline that we had arranged was, are you ready for this?, correct! Even more so, something that we had recently changed on out technical rider and could have screwed us up, was easily handled by the local supplier. I love it when that happens! And now that its actually happened, I can say that.

After the show we headed out to George Street to see what the night life was like, and it reminded me a little of New Orleans in the off season. Just a lot of people having a lot of fun, out on decks and verandas doing a lot of people watching, so thats what we did too. Then I had a sausage in a bun from a very nice cart and stumbled my way back to my hotel room.

The next day was a festival show in Pearlgate, Nfld, just a few minutes away from the hotel, and this was a pretty big show with Sum 41, Treble Charger and Not By Choice along with us and three local bands. It was a pretty routine show, and the crowd was slow to wake up for the local bands, but by the time we got on they were becoming lively. This is pretty good for us because as I've not mentioned before, Kazzer is a really good band at riling up a crowd. We win over every crowd we play for because the band is really fun to watch as well as being top notch musically. Ok, that's as much as I'm gonna tout the virtues of the band as performers. Take my word and see it for yourself.

Then came the screeching. Do you all know what that is? I didn't either before I got out there. The fine folks of Newfoundland have come up with an elaborate method of causing tourists to embarrass themselves. There was quite a group of us at Christians nightclub at 23 George St. where Keith, our presiding officer (yes, he even gave me his card with that title on it) gave a wonderful speech, got us all singing songs that I as of yet dont know the words for, if indeed they were words, and we all had a grand old time. Then the fish came out. A big frozen fish. And then all of us that had never been to Newfoundland before, god help us, we kissed the fish. Then, just to burn the fish off your lips, he gave us all a shot of Screech, which is apparently the stuff you get from the bottom of a rum barrel. Having performed the ritual we all received a diploma proclaiming us all members of the Royal Order of Screechers. Does the queen know about this? Now during all of this I had someone look after my video camera bag so I could just take pictures, which I did, and they will show up here eventually... then we all just hung out drinking a lot and talking like old friends do and trying to figure out if we should tell people what we had just done, you know, like those guys in that movie 'Alive'. My god, man, we kissed a frozen fish. You Newfies are great...but weird. Thanks!

Oh yeah, after that I headed back to the hotel and got to talking on the phone when I realized that, hey, someone has my video camera. I called around to the other rooms, and heard a lot of 'No, I dont have it'. Eek. I rushed back to Christians and talked to Keith, and yes, he remembered seeing the bag right there by that table, he did. Not sure where it is now, though. Everyone see where this is going? Yes! You win a cigar! There was my video camera, gone. Ah well, the camera is just that; a camera. I'm more upset that I lost the few tapes that were in the bag. No, there wasnt anything incriminating on the tapes...perverts...but all of the stuff I took on the Ra tour, with doubleDrive and Presence, even back to the stuff I taped at the Theory video shoot. That'll teach me; never let anything out of my own custody.

Anyway, thats where things stand now. We're getting ready to set out on the MTV tour in a couple days, and there should be some good stories out of that, and if not, I'll start relaying stories from my old tours, just anecdotes and the like, but dont worry, I won't be running out of material any time soon. I just hafta keep thinking of ways to keep it interesting. Let me know how I'm doing.

Dan

Saturday, August 30, 2003

That was a grueling week. Who books a show in Thunder Bay, Ontario in the middle of a tour of Southern Ontario? I'll give you Americans a few minutes now to go look at a map, because I know you have no idea what the hell I just said, and no, I'm not being a smart-ass.  It is my experience that, generally speaking, Americans dont know a damned thing about Canada, except to say that it snows up here all the time. (Of course, it doesn't. Summer is the nicest two weeks of the year!). Am I suggesting that Canadians know everything about the States? Not by a long shot, my friends. I've explained several times where Lincoln, Nebraska is, and the difference between Cincinnati and Cleveland.

Ok, everyone on the same page now? Good, then let us carry on. As I was saying, we did two shows in Kee to Bala (less than two hours north of Toronto), then a show in Sudbury (less than 2 more hours north), then Thunder Bay15 hours away! This isnt really an issue, because Winnipeg is just a few more hours down the highway, and most of the time, the next show on the tour. It's good to have Thunder Bay there to break up the drive. This time around, however, the Peg was not the next stop...Paris, Ontario already had that job. Where is Paris, Ontario? Go all the way back to Toronto (!!!), make a right (go west, young man) and drive another hour that direction. Oh well, its not like its never been done before...but I still want to send all the booking agencies a map for Christmas, except that they probably wouldnt look at it anyway.

Have I whined enough? Ok, good, I'll move on then. Or...back, as it were.

Kee to Bala was interesting for a couple different reasons, some of which many of you are well aware of. It was my first show with Kazzer, as well as the first show with Theory Of A Deadman since they and I parted ways. This certainly wasnt an issue, just interesting to be opening for the band that you worked with for over a year. At least now I can say that I've actually seen them live. Theyre not bad, huh? The first show with Kaz went surprisingly well, considering that I didnt know the material, how the guys are on stage or the gear. There were a couple wrinkles in the rug, but all in all it went pretty smooth. Theres some talented people in the band, I tells ya.

And I got to hang out with some friends that I've made from my Theory experience, as well, with CheekyPeak and DMGirl being among the people at the show! And my bro Pete from the Foundation Room in Barrie was there toobut he disappeared on me before I could bust out the Jaegermeister! I'll hafta get ya next time, buddy! And I'll burn ya those pics while I'm at it!

Laurentian university in Sudbury went much better, since this time around I knew everything that was going to go wrong, and could plan for it. The only thing I might have to bitch about at this gig would be the load out, because there were a lot of steps involved...but there were several burly fellows there to do that for me, so who am I to complain? Thanks guys! There was a pretty cool after party downstairs when the bands were done, and I met some new folks...but I dont know if I ever got any names...sorry. There's an off chance that I may have perhaps been drinking by that point. Getting to know these Kazzer guys is gonna be hard on me; these boys definitely imbibe with the best of them. So at the end of the night we headed back to the hotel, peopled slightly more than when we started, and enjoyed a few more refreshments, then to sleep for the long drive the next day. Up next...Thunder Bay!

How was our day on Tuesday? Long. And boring. As previously mentioned, 15 hours in a van. Entertaining ones self takes some thought, or sleep. One or the other. It did give me a good chance to watch the band interact with each other and get to know their personalities. Julian is the youngest (I think) so he takes the brunt of the abuse, and he does it affably enough. It's all in good fun, and he knows that. Aside from that there's a pretty even spread of ribbing and jokes at each others expense. They left me alone for a goodly portion of the trip, which worried me, so I thought I'd give them an opening and put on my cowboy hat. It worked. The Stevie Ray Vaughn/Ritchie Sambora jokes came out almost immediately, but they didn't come up with anything new, so there's not much more to tell. On the up-side, as of midnight Tuesday/Wednesday it was D-Lux's birthday and we got into Thunder Bay just in time to hit the ballet! $300 and an hour and a half later and everyone was happy to be in the Bay! Oh and hey, wouldnt you know it, I knew someone that worked there. Nothing surprises me anymore, really.

The next night took us to the Outpost in Lakehead University, a place I'd been to before with Flybanger and Static In Stereo, and it's definitely a cool venue, even if the dressing rooms are in a different area code. And as a gift for me on the last night I was going to see the Theory guys for a while, Tyler gave me a little present by starting Any Other Way twicebecause he forgot to hit his tuner/mute pedal after switching guitars. As soon as he figured it out he looked over to me and we had ourselves a little bonding moment. It was sweet, really, even if I was laughing my ass off.

The next morning all of the Zazzer guys flew back to Hamilton leaving Kenny and I to do the drive back to good old southern Ontario. In actuality the return trip wasnt too bad with the exception of the torrential downpours the whole way. We made killer time since we didnt have to stop nearly as many times as with nine people in the van. We got into Burlington by around 3.30 Friday morning, settled into a lovely little hotel and got a few hours of shut eye.

The next morning we, Kenny and I, drove to the bands rehearsal spot because this particular show was going to be a little different; we were going to have one less band member and one different member. Steve, the guitar player and Craig, drummer, had previous obligations for the Friday, so we had some adjustments to make! Then it was off to the Paris Fair, which I was at a couple years back with SIS and it was exactly the same, right down to the concrete blocks around the stage. The show went surprisingly well, what with all the changes, but the stage presence was slightly more reserved. Thats understandable, I think.

This was also Kennys Birthday. Happy birthday buddy!! Its great to be back on the road with you! Oh, in case any of you arent aware, Kenny is also my room mate, and the best soundman in the business.

After that we had the weekend off. Im not sure why we had it off, but we did. So I took this time to do something Ive been telling my oldest friend in the world that I would do for eight years or so now and came back to Stratford, Ontario for a visit. Its really funny how some things change so drastically that you wouldn't even know your own home town, and yet some things are precisely as you remember them. I'll talk more about the whole going home again thing later, but right now I have beer to drink.

Dan

August 23, 2003

Where was I? Ah yes...after Springfield we made our way to Colorado. In Denver we lost our friends from Presence a day early, because DJ got a call that he was about to become a father, so he flew right after their set. We had a blast with those boys, and I hope I see them again out here. As history has shown me, there's a pretty good chance that I will. Congratulations, DJ! (It was a boy, by the way). We also welcomed Man Made God onto the tour, which was a little reunion for the other guys, since Ra and MMG had toured together before.

Then it was off to Colorado Springs, and a weird place called 32 Blue. It's really a pretty cool venue, but it's also a restaurant, and thats a strange feeling when you go in mid-afternoon, usually hung over and looking it, un-showered, and (this is apparently an unwritten-rule for crew guys) wearing a shirt with some sort of funny, if not obscene saying and there are people enjoying a fine lunch in a (pretty nice) dining establishment. Ya gotta love the looks of amusement, bemusement, and apprehension. Then we have to take all the big cases into a not-so-big elevator, and then down some steps to the stage. Why would I explain this boring stuff? Because not only is this stuff big, but heavy. The poor guys that were there to help us load in did a great job with that...my thanks to them, as always. Colorado Springs is a really beautiful place, I need to mention. I got to do a little walking around, and it reminded me a lot of Vancouver, what with the mountains and all.

This brings us to DV8 in Salt Lake City and another shitty load-in to a pretty cool club. One of the coolest things about this gig, really, is the proximity to, are you ready for it?, The Dead Goat Saloon. Exactly how cool is that??? Why do I find that so cool? Trivia question for ya, and if you can answer this, youll know what one of my favorite movies is: The Slaughtered Lamb...know what that is? If ya do, I'm impressed.

A few days later and we were in Seattle, Washington. I got to see a dear sweet beautiful wonderful amazing incredible friend (edited because she gave me shit for saying 'old friend'...luv ya Sheeny), and get back to a club that I had been to many, many times: Graceland. The club was very much as I remembered it, meaning there was practically no one there. I always find it funny that a club and/or promoter will pay to have a band come to a town, and then do absolutely nothing to let people know about it. It's amazing how many times I have heard "Sorry about the attendance, but the show really wasnt advertised". Does that make sense to anyone? Me neither.

I finally got to do a show at the famous Troubadour in L.A. on my last day with Ra, and that was really cool for me. I think I've been in most all of the famous clubs around Canada and the States now, and Im rather proud of that fact.

I want to take a minute right now to say thank you to the guys in the Ra camp. Sahaj, Skooter, Ben, PJ, Steve, Robin and of course Lala. Thank you all so much for everything. I had a great time, the entire time, and I learned a lot from being with you guys in a lot of respects. We will definitely work together again...just get the paperwork done!

After the Troubadour show, the guys dropped me off at the airport and now I can proudly tell you all that I have slept in LAX with everything I own underneath me and wrapped snugly around all of my limbs. There's nothing like getting to the airport at 4 am for a noon flight, let me tell you. Living the dream, I am.

Thus ends the Ra tour.

Now, anyone that has the slightest grasp on this industry knows that absolutely nothing is for sure, and anything that you might think is going to happen has just as much chance of not happening. I mention this now because when the Ra tour wound up for me, I planned on taking a couple weeks off while I waited for doubleDrive to return from Australia and get back out on the road in the US. How could this work if I left Ra because of immigration? Well, dD is on Roadrunner, same as Theory and Roadrunner had put in a petition way back in March (I think) for the Theory camp which at that time still included me. That just couldnt have worked out better for me; you all know that I wanted to work with dD. I even went so far as to tell people that that was my next move. Did it work out that way? Hell no! I heard from Bozz, dD's TM, this past Wednesday telling me that they were having budget concerns and that they wouldnt need me as soon as they thought, if at all. Now, for those of you that dont know me, I will explain this simply and completely: I hate time off. The only thing about this that worked out well is that Kenny, my roomie, is working for the band Kazzer, and they were starting a tour on Friday. With a little juggling of plane tickets and scheduling, I am back out.

We arrived here last night, actually, and went out to have a few cocktails with Kaz and Steve, one of the guitarists. How did that go? Well, we got to the bar and ordered the first round, and before I had even taken my first sip Steve asked who was ready for round 2. Challenge extended...and accepted. In the hour and a half that we were there we had somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 rounds, and I lapped Steve once (he missed a round because he went to sing with his friends in the band). It looks like this is going fun...I'll keep you posted.

D

2003-08-21

I guess since my adventures with Theory Of A Deadman are well documented on their web-site, I'll start with the Ra gig.  But where to begin there? I have somewhat talked about the first couple show with these guys already, since some of the friends I have made through Theory came out to see me, so I'll leave it for anyone that has, at this point, no idea what the hell I am talking about to go Theory's web-site and check out the Road Journal entry on their bulletin board.

This is going to be a pretty brief overview of the tour, as it was a month that absolutely flew by, and we, um, had a fair bit of fun while we were doing it! So this will be an "As memory serves" entry.  And, yes, I'm cheating. I have to look at my PDA's calendar to know where I was. After that all I have to do is remember what happened!

Before I get started, I'll re-iterate from my first entries on the Theory site: Im not going to waste anyone's time with inane comments like, "Great crowd, great show." When its applicable I will do that, but trust me, it isnt always the case. Also, one other thing I should clear up, and those of you that know me are aware of this, and those of you that don't will rapidly become aware: I am terrible with names. If we met, even talked and got to know each other, there's a really good chance that I won't mention you by name. Because I dont remember it. Sorry.

Still with me? Good.

The first few days with a new band are always interesting, because of course I have no idea who these people are that I find myself living with. Given this, I generally sit back and watch the various dichotomies at play and figure out best where I'm going to fit. This was the case with Ra as well, and, with the exception of the few friends that came to visit me, I was pretty reserved. You really don't want to get loaded and end up nekkid if it isn't going to be appreciated, know what I mean? Fortunately enough, someone else did that for me the first night, so any anxiety I may have felt was quickly allayed. What's that? No, I'm not going to tell you who...why would you want to know?!? Perverts! The boys from Ra were as cool with an interloper (really) as I could have hoped, and I didn't worry about too much after that. I didn't cut loose for a while yet, but that was just being over-cautious. Sometimes I'm funny that way.

I found out a couple things on the second night in Old Birch, NJ. One, doing what I'm doing now pays off in a lot of ways, not the least of which I have already mentioned: I have made some friends doing this journal thing. Anne, one of the lovely and talented moderator of the Theory board (there are two other talented moderators..."lovely"...I'm not so sure) and her husband came to visit and brought me some greatly appreciated gifts (socks and Paulaner...they both are familiar with touring life), and Jen (Sabena), of course came to visit me, despite the fact that I hit on her relentlessly whenever I see her! And how could I forget the Theory twins, Jen and Jillian, who have contributed greatly to my little Batman obsession since I got to know them. And all of this in one show! The Twins are also the ones that let me in on "Thing I Learned Number Two" that night: PJ, Ra's new bassist was also the bassist for Trixter. If you dont know who that is, you wouldn't find this funny anyway, but if you DO know who Trixter was, please take a moment and join me in a chuckle of nostalgia, remembering the day... To be perfectly clear: I was not, did not, nor ever would be chuckling at PJ for his involvement in Trixter. He is, and should be, proud of that time in his life. Like I said, just the memories of youth. I grew up in that time, and hell, I liked Trixter! This is, of course, not to say that I didnt call him Trixter after that. A few of us on the bus did. Good times...good times.  

But I digress.

(Scanning the calendar) Oh yes, Boston was noteworthy because it's home town for Ben, the guitarist, and Steve the TM/FOH (Let me know if I need to explain the acronyms, if not, I won't). What does this mean to me, an outsider? A party after the show, thats what And more: seeing exactly how the boys in this camp are. How were they? Fun, thats how they were. Partying on the bus was quite a culture shock from the Theory camp. It just didn't happen over there, so I was a little unsure what to do...at first. Fortunately I had made fast friends with Lala (yes, thats his real name. Andrew Lala) so easing in was pretty simple. He and I shared a lot of the same ideas, ideals, sense of humor, and work ethic. This is never a bad thing in a new situation.

I should take the time to mention that it was good to visit the Axis again. I had been there a couple times in the last year, and some of the staff, as well as a couple patrons,  remembered me and I remembered them, and when doing a show, knowing the people around you is a big plus. Local crew's are way under-appreciated, generally, and I try not to do that.

The next notable show for me (and this is assuming that I'm remembering the right show) was in Lexington, KY. This was, I think, the first of a series of shows we did with doubleDrive. For those of you that don't know me, I am a huge fan of that band, and have been for a long time. They were the first people I reached out to when I got home from Theory because they were a band I wanted to work with. At the time, it didn't work out, and the Ra gig thankfully came along. As coincidence would have it, after I got that gig I found that we would be touring with dD so I would at least be able to see them live (which is definitely something I strongly recommend!) for a few shows.

Now how funny is life? When the dD guys walked in that afternoon, the first thing the said when they saw me was "Fuck!" It turned out that very shortly after I had corresponded with them, their tech left and they were hoping to get hold of me. When I heard that, I backed them up on the whole "Fuck!" thing. On top of it, they still didn't have a tech with them, leaving Bozz (TM/FOH) doing most everything by himself, as well as the band setting up their own gear. Lala and I volunteered to help them out while they were with us, because that just didn't seem right. Are you all getting a sense of the brotherhood that exists out here? I hope so, or I'm doing something wrong.

This needs to be said as well: the tour package also grew this night with the addition of Presence. This only meant something to me because a lot of the festivals that I had done with Theory over the previous years had included these guys, and DJ, bassist and lunatic, had become someone that I would call friend. He was the only one I knew at this point, but that was only the first day, and it really was good to see him.

Little Rock, Arkansas is the next notable show...but for reasons that are my own. I may have to visit there again soon...perhaps in Autumn. Nothing to see here, move along.

No wait! There were reasons that this was a notable show that fall under the category "Your Business!" This was the first night that the Ra guys saw me let go, cut loose, live it up, etc...ok, well, they kinda saw it. You see, the doubleDrive boys left earlier than we did, but Troy and I wanted to hang out, so I swore up and down to Bozz that I would make sure that Troy got to where he needed to be, when he needed to be there. Of course at the time of said oath, I was sober. There was a quaint little pool hall 3 Doors Down (get it?) from the venue, so Troy, myself and a couple of friends ended up there, with most everyone else from Ra wandering in and out through the night. Long story short, there were shots involved, and exactly five minutes before our bus call, I was faced, and Lala saw me jump into a cab, which of course prompted him to call me and ask what the hell I was doing. What was I doing? Exactly what I said I would: taking Troy to his hotel. Never let it be said that I don't keep my word. We may have lost Josh at some time that night...but I never promised to look after him! Semantics, I know. I made it back to the bus two and a half minutes late, and no one cared. Any way, the next morning, I found out that Skooter, Ra's drummer, saw the whole thing and was kind enough to ask me what had happened, because all of a sudden I was hammered! The concern was touching, and he was elated that I had let my hair down...um...ya...!

Then we went to Rockford, IL, and the Elixur...the club with the UFO right behind the oddly shaped (translate: pain in the ass) stage. I already appreciated working with Lala by now, but this night really showed me that we were very much alike, and that he had developed trust in me and how I do my job. He was, unquestionably, the stage manager, and fully entrenched in this camp, but he would ask me what I planned on doing for my guitar world, where we should put the other bands guitar worlds, how I thought we should deal with the stage, so on and so forth, and would always take things I would say at face value. If he didnt agree or had a different idea he would tell me and ask me if I thought it was better. All that this meant to me was that I had earned his respect and that he trusted me at my job.

Caveat: When you first start working with someone, and I'm sure this applies with any job, they wonder if you actually know what the hell you are doing. The first couple of shows that I did with Ra were thoroughly punctuated with Lala coming to ask me if this guitar was ready, or that back-up guitar was tuned, etc... This didnt bother me in the slightest because, really, he didn't know me, or how well I know my job, and I'm the same way with new guys. I would just do what I do and try to put his mind at ease. Chuckling at him when he would ask me (un-necessarily panicked) questions helped, I think.

One thing that was really cool happened at the end of the show, too. The crowd wouldnt let Ra leave the stage. Now, Ra is in the same situation as Theory: one album. This means that there is only so much material that they can draw on for a show. So what did the boys do? The only thing they could: they called up the other two bands for a jam to entertain the crowd. How fucking cool was it to watch Ra, doubleDrive and Presence doing versions of  the Police, Ozzy, Zep, and more! It was a hallmark moment, to say the least!

And, I suppose if I'm covering the highlights, I should mention the downs as well, huh? At some point in the morning of this particular day,  I reminded Steve and Sahaj (singer) that they needed to get hold of their management to take care of my immigration. An hour later or so, Sahaj came to me to ask what that sort of thing usually costs. I told him that I had no idea, of course, because the label takes care of that, right? Two, three thousand? Sure, sounds about right. Well, that's a shame, because that isn't in Ras budget. Would you stay anyway? Well, I would, but on the (very) off chance that I get caught working illegally, there's no way in hell I'll be coming back down here. Damn, that sucks. Yes, it does. Well, we should start looking for a replacement. Yeah, I'll stay until you find someone, but make it quick, ok? Alright, just stay until L.A., we can get a guy there. O.K.

Could you follow that?

Really? Damn, youre good! I have no idea what I just said!

The next day was a festival in Indianola, IA. This actually gave me some insight to my place in this industry, in a personal manner. I was awake when we got there at nine in the morning (no, I have NO IDEA what I was doing awake!) so I got out to check out the stage and site. When I did that I ran into no less than six people that I know and whom know me. That doesn't seem very consequential does it? Put yourself in my place for a minute. (Hey! Quit touching yourself!)  Here I am, someone that fell ass-backwards into what I do, and loving every minute of it. But all of a sudden I know, know, the tour manager for Staind, the drum tech for Static X, a couple of the guys from Powerman...see where Im going with this? Festivals have long been family reunion events for me. The world is WAY smaller than you know. But suddenly, its other people recognizing me. Having just re-read that, it may look like I'm trying to pat myself on the back for something that doesnt really mean a damned thing, but believe me, I'm not. This epiphany awed me. It just gave me cause to sit back and look at what I've done, where I've been, and (begrudgingly) what I've accomplished.

Now that I write that, I may have just had another epiphany: this web site may be a test for myself. Like I said, there was some pretty healthy interest in the idea on the Theory web-site...so lets see if it was Theory, or the stories. Did that make sense? Let me know.

Moving right along to Springfield, MO. This was dD's last day with us, and a sad day all around. Ok, mostly sad. Donnie, Troy, Josh and Mike all dressed up in over-alls and masks and silly-stringed the bejeezus out of Presence during their set...then did the same to Ra. Then after the show (Adema headlined, so we had a lot of time) we all hung out on our bus and had a grand ol' time. I took some pics (look at the home page, yes, *that* night)

Ok, I'm half way through  this tour...and I need to sleep. I'll finish this tomorrow...hopefully. At least I got started, right? RIGHT?!?

Dan